Communications

https://themindsjournal.com/you-wouldnt-know-the-signs-were-hurting-unless-they-wanted-you-to-know/

You Wouldn’t Know The Signs Were Hurting Unless They Wanted You To Know More

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https://www.forbes.com/sites/marcgerstein/2019/03/20/creative-ways-to-find-equity-yield/

It’s hard nowadays to find decent equity yields without taking undue risks. But with a little bit of creativity and an open mind (Technical analysis? Yes, even technical analysis!), it can be done.

https://omtimes.com/2019/03/success-liar-fear/

 Fear may be the mind-killer, but it is also a liar. Fear is the Liar     I recently watched a touching documentary, Tea with the Dames, an intimate chat between four legendary British actresses, Judi Dench, Maggie Smith, Joan Plowright, and Eileen Atkins, all of whom have been knighted. I found it a treat to momentarily peek into the lives of four esteemed thespians. At one point the subject of fear came up. Judi Dench admitted, “I still feel quite anxious when I have to act in a film.” I was stunned! Here one of the world’s finest actresses, who has often been cast as the Queen of England, and exudes utter confidence in her roles, now 85 years of age, is still plagued by fear! To my further surprise, her peers, also among the most respected actresses in the world, confessed that they, too, are camera shy. This shocking revelation confirmed to me a phenomenon I see in many successful professionals: Even while the voice of fear pursues us, we can go on to create huge success. That voice often disguises itself as “fraud guilt”—the idea that “I am a phony and if people knew the truth about me, they would not pay me, like me, or want me.”  A survey of top Hollywood movie studio CEO’s asked, “What do you fear most?” The most common answer was, “I am afraid that people will find out I don’t really know what I am doing.” Meanwhile, these execs were turning our fabulous movies, earning many millions of dollars for their studios. Success is not the liar. Fear is. Don Juan, the mentor in Carlos Castaneda’s classic series of books of conversations with his Yaqui shaman teacher, told Castaneda, “Fear never really goes away. It sits on your shoulder and…

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By passport and birth, I am Romanian. By soul, I am a citizen of the world. I’ve always been fascinated by cultures, traditions, mentalities, and different ways of doing things and perceiving the world. So when I got my first working contract in Sweden twelve years ago, I embraced it with tremendous joy. 

Five years later I took one of the biggest steps in my life and moved to Shanghai. I was an Eastern-European woman leading a Chinese team, in an entirely new environment, so different from anything I had experienced before. After Shanghai, life brought me to South Korea and Mexico for other four exciting years. Today, I am sharing these insights from my current home in Dubai.

Looking back on my life, I know I used to expect others to behave in specific predefined ways, and I stereotyped people based on their country of origin. For example, I assumed that all Italians would speak a lot and loudly. All Swedish would be blond and shy. All Greeks would be cheese lovers, and all Chinese were supposed to eat dog meat.

The truth is, I was putting labels on people and seeing the world in black and white. As if I was the only one holding the absolute truth and the “right” way of perceiving the world, and anything else was either strange or abnormal.

Cognitive distortions like labeling or stereotyping separate us and shut us down. When I was meeting the world with a “my way or no way” approach, I was stuck on my ego. My mind was too busy judging, so it had no time to listen or understand other points of view, and everything outside my comfort zone scared me.

The real shift happened the day I decided to meet new people with the eyes of a child, with curiosity and a genuine interest to know them and connect with them, from the heart. I started to ask questions, like: “What makes you say this?” “What makes you do that?” or “I’m not sure I understand. Can you tell me more about that?”

New insights and new perspectives came to life that I’d like to share with you today:

1. Beauty is subjective.

They say beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I believe this is true. Knowing this helped me stop judging the Chinese, South Korean, or Japanese for hiding themselves under big umbrellas during summer.

As an Eastern-European woman, I was raised to believe “summer beauty” was all about getting a nice, sexy chocolate-like complexion. However, during my stay in Asia, I was always complimented on my “gorgeous white skin” because here beautiful often means “white.” So if you visit this part of the world, don’t get surprised to see lots of whitening products in beauty shops.

Each time you think you’re not beautiful enough, your nose is too long, or your hips are too big, remember that beauty is a norm, shaped by societies and cultures. Spend your precious time by finding your own kind of beauty. You are what you believe. Decide you are gorgeous and see what happens.

2. Feedback is just an opinion.

If you are concerned with what other people think about you, know this and set yourself free: if they find you intelligent, stupid, ugly, or average, that has nothing to do with you. It’s all about them and what they see in you after they evaluate you through their standards and expectations.

Take my example: a Swedish colleague once told me I was “scary”—“too emotional, too talkative, and too intense.” I wanted to know more about myself, so I asked colleagues from Romania what they thought about that feedback. They found it funny: “What? You, scary? You, intense? Who told you that? You must be kidding!”

To them, I was normal. Showing vulnerability and expressing emotions at work was not common in Sweden, but it was normal to me.

That’s where the differences came from. It wasn’t right or wrong; it was just different. Every time people tell you that you are “too little of this” or “too much of that,” know that it has nothing to do with you. It’s about how they’re reacting to you, so don’t take it personally.

3. We are all influenced by cultural values.

Every culture holds a set of primary values that influence the way we act and think. In Sweden, for example, I learned the word “lagom” (meaning “not too much”), which is an expression of humbleness.

In other words, one should not stick out and be too much out of anything, or believe they are “some kind of special.” On the opposite side, if you were raised in a country that puts a high focus on acknowledging and praising your individuality, acting and thinking “lagom” about yourself might be hard.

Countries such as China or South Korea value harmony: let us all agree and collaborate, so it’s a win-win for everybody, and no one has to lose. Kind of “me happy, you happy.” So don’t get surprised if people tell you they agree with you when, in fact, they don’t. It’s all about avoiding conflict and “keeping face,” for the sake of the collective harmony.

Knowing the cultural values in a given country is another way to understand why people behave differently. We all have our own historical, social background, but diversity doesn’t have to be scary. Imagine how boring life would be if everyone thought the same: no learning from each other, no brainstorming of new ideas, no evolution and growth.

It is essential that we embrace our differences with compassion and accept diversity as a reality of the world we all live in. Souls don’t hold a passport. In spirit, there’s no separation, no nationality or religion. Those have been assigned to each of us at birth.

Hurting you is hurting myself. Loving you is loving myself. We are all One. – Sara Fabian (Click to Tweet!)

Sara Fabian is a Women’s Empowerment & Career Coach and inspirational speaker, on a mission to help professional women to discover their unique strengths, gifts and talents, boost their confidence, find their calling and live a meaningful life of purpose. For weekly inspiration, subscribe to her free newsletter at www.sarafabiancoaching.com or follow her on Facebook.

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https://omtimes.com/2019/03/recognize-signs-from-the-other-side/

Have your loved ones been sending you signs from the other side and you hadn’t realized it? Recognizing Signs from the Other Side by Bill Philipps      How beautiful it would be to be able to say to your deceased mother, “Mom, I really need to know you’re with me right now; will you please appear before me so that I can see you?” — and then watch as she appears. Unfortunately, that’s not how spirits operate. Any signs you receive from the other side likely will not be presented in the most obvious ways. But they won’t necessarily be as subtle as you may think. It depends primarily on your mindset and whether you are looking for them. If you surrender your expectations of how the signs may be presented and are vigilant about paying attention to your surroundings, you will recognize them. When you are on the lookout, your psychic senses will kick in, because that is where your energy is being directed. Spirits will also try to send their signs from the other side that you will relate to and avoid sending ones that you won’t. The reason, of course, is because they want you to recognize them. For example, if you are a construction worker or a sports fanatic, they may send signs that relate to either of those things. If you are not into sports and aren’t familiar with, say, basketball star LeBron James, your deceased mom will likely not send you something that has to do with LeBron. I am not into sports much at all, so when I give readings, it is rare for me to receive a detailed sports symbol as validation. Those on the other side know I’d get frustrated if I did. That doesn’t mean they won’t show me…

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https://themindsjournal.com/your-daily-predictions-for-sunday-march-17-2019/

Your predictions for today, Find out what’s written in the stars for you More

The post Your Daily Predictions for Sunday, March 17, 2019 appeared first on The Minds Journal.

https://themindsjournal.com/how-to-stop-feeling-depressed-at-night/

Are you struggling with depression and wondering how to stop feeling depressed at night? More

The post How To Stop Feeling Depressed At Night: 7 Tips That Really Work appeared first on The Minds Journal.

https://www.eatyourselfskinny.com/grandmas-banana-bread/

Let me know below if you end up making this banana bread recipe and please tell me what you think!  I’ve had this recipe on the blog for over 7 years (wow has it really been almost 8 years already?!), but I wanted to update it with better, more drool-worthy photos   Enjoy everyone!

Grandma’s Easy Banana Bread

 

Print

Serves: 12 servings

Ingredients

• ½ cup (1 stick) butter, softened
• 1 cup sugar
• 2 eggs
• 1 tsp. vanilla
• ½ cup sour cream (or plain Greek yogurt)
• 1 cup mashed bananas (about 2 bananas)
• 1½ cups all-purpose flour
• 1 tsp. baking soda
• ½ tsp. salt

Instructions

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.
2. In a stand mixer, or hand held, mix together softened butter and sugar until well combined. Then add in eggs and mix well. Next add in vanilla, sour cream (or Greek yogurt) and mashed bananas then, while the mixer is on, slowly add the flour, baking soda and salt and mix slowly until completely combined, scraping the sides and the bottom.
3. Pour batter into prepared loaf pan (or pans). If using one 9×5 loaf pan, bake bread for about one hour. If using three mini loaf pans, bake bread for about 45 minutes, or until a toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.
4. Let the bread sit for 10 minutes then remove from pan and let cool completely on a wire rack. Serve and enjoy!

Nutritional Information

Serving Size: 1 slice • Calories: 218 • Fat: 8.5 g • Saturated Fat: 5.1 g • Carbs: 32.7 g • Fiber: 1 g • Protein: 3.7 g • Sugar: 19.4 g • WW Freestyle Points: 9

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Do you feel like every time you get into a relationship you start to lose yourself? Does your identity get all tangled up with the person you’re seeing? Do you start to forget or neglect the things that make you, YOU?

Maybe you used to have a real passion for something but abandoned it because you felt like it would detract from your relationship? Or maybe you’re in a long-term, committed partnership and you can’t seem to remember the last time you did something for just YOU and only you.

Don’t get lost in your relationship.

Today I’m talking all about how to create and maintain healthy, vibrant, lasting love and spoiler alert: losing your identity or compromising who you are when you’re in a relationship isn’t healthy.

You guys have been amazing at asking me for what you need and want to learn here and in our Real Love Revolution Facebook Group, and this is an issue that a lot of you have been writing to me about. That’s why in this week’s episode, I’m covering how not to lose yourself when you’re in a relationship, why you might be prone to it and why you don’t want that kind of dynamic with your partner. So if you’re feeling a little lost right now, I want to invite you to read the below and then click HERE to see my video where I go a little deeper into this with you.

In the very beginning of a relationship, you’re so happy and falling in love, everything feels so good, and you just want to spend all your time doing everything together. It’s normal to be all wrapped up in the other person when you’re first falling for them, but as your relationship deepens and grows, a natural balance of your life with your partner and your life outside of them should develop.

It’s true that when you’re partnered, your life changes, and hopefully, you’re constantly considering that other person, but there is a way to hold on to yourself, to your identity and to nurture your relationship.

Healthy love is about interdependence, not codependence, (if you need more resources on How to Heal Codependent Relationships, I created a podcast episode for you all about that here) and that means remembering that you are two separate people and being secure enough to have experiences apart from one another.

If someone is expecting you to give up your identity or own life and for you to fulfill all of their needs (or vice versa), that’s not healthy love (or even possible.) It’s also exhausting. What I’ve found within my therapeutic practice in the last 20 years, is that super high functioning women often give up a lot of themselves voluntarily in their relationships, because they don’t know that there’s another choice.

Why does this happen? Well, let’s talk about your history a little bit.

• What kind of modeled behavior in love relationships did you see growing up?
• Did your parents/caregivers have separate interests, hobbies or friend circles?
• What was your experience of love in partnership? Did it mean sacrificing everything for the other?
• Did you learn that being a good partner meant giving up individual interests?
• Did one of your parents or caregivers revolve their entire life around their partner?
• Was there infidelity or trust issues in your parents’ relationship or the partnerships your saw growing up?
• What were the expectations for gender roles like in your household when you were a child? What did it look like to be “the perfect wife” or “the perfect husband”? Even if your parents/caregivers didn’t emulate it, was there an ideal set forth?

Each of us has different experiences and perspectives when it comes to what “love” is and what we think it should look like in practice. I call it our Downloaded Love Blueprint. If growing up you saw that being a good partner meant losing all your own interests and revolving your life around the other person, then it makes sense for you to consciously (and unconsciously) hold to the belief that this is what real love is.

But the real question is: are the things you’re doing in your relationship making you happy? Because if they aren’t and you’re sublimating your individual identity in service of your partner, you are potentially setting yourself up for either failure of the relationship or for you to become really resentful at a later date.

Let’s talk about some do’s and don’ts when it comes to your holding onto yourself and your identity when you’re in a relationship:

DO:

• Spend time away from your spouse or partner. Socialize with others and find a balance of spending time together and apart. Whether for work or play, support your partner in the experiences he/she wants to have without you, and curate your own adventures apart from him/her.
• Stay connected to your friends and family. It’s healthy to have relationships outside of your primary relationship. No matter how amazing your partner is, you’re a full human being complete with all the facets of you. That includes being a friend, a daughter, sister, a cousin or a granddaughter. There’s a stability that comes to your life when you stay connected to all of the parts of yourself through ALL of the people that matter the most to you.
• Know your value and know your values. What’s really important to you? If you truly value yourself, that means putting your values first, whether you’re in a relationship or not. You need to be the writer, the producer and the director of what goes on in your life, and your values should guide you along the way. Make decisions based on how you feel so that you don’t have regrets or end up in the blame game.
• Set healthy boundaries from the start. If you’re at the beginning of a relationship, this is your chance to express your wants, needs, and desires as well as your lifestyle preferences. Setting effective boundaries early on and being truthful and honest is so important to lasting success in love and trust me, it’s better to find out that you’re incompatible earlier than later. For more on boundaries and real love, watch this.

DON’T:

• Don’t give up on your health, wellness, or passion pursuits even if your partner doesn’t share your particular interests. If your partner doesn’t like to work out or sleeps in on Saturday mornings where you like to get up early and hit the gym, it doesn’t mean you can’t still do you! In fact, catering to someone else’s preferences over your own all the time can only lead to resentment and martyr syndrome…and that’s not good for anybody.
• Don’t take on interests of your partner’s if you’re not actually into it. Allow them to have a separate interest, and keep pursuing your own as well. Being in a healthy loving relationship doesn’t mean always being attached at the hip, and if you have some insecurities around that, go within and ask yourself why. Trust is the foundation of lasting love, and spending time apart can make coming together again all the sweeter. (Note: This is not to say that compromise is not important. It is the difference between attending a classical music concert because your partner loves it even if you don’t and trying to become a classical music expert because your partner is obsessed.)
• When you disconnect from your partner, don’t stay connected with your devices the entire time. If you’re texting or messaging your partner the play-by-play of your girls’ weekend away, you’re not really being fully present in the moment. Take the actual space. Your relationship will be better for it.
• Flip the script. Instead of always asking, “What do they want?” or “How can I be what they want me to be?” ask: “What do I want?” “How can I meet my own needs or get them met?” and “What would make me feel really good about this right now?” Again, it’s more about becoming the director of your own life than being an actor in someone else’s.

I hope that some of these tips inspire you and help you shift your perspective around who you are and who you can be in a relationship. You can continue to “do you” even as you’re part of an “us”.

As promised in the video, here’s the self-love meditation that I’m gifting you to help you remember that even when you love someone else, loving and caring for yourself should always be your top priority.

All you need to do is click the download button on the meditation page, put in your email address and you get immediate access to this beautiful guided meditation.

If you liked this episode, please share it on your social media outlets and with others who could benefit.

As always, take care of you.

Terri

Terri Cole is a licensed psychotherapist, transformation coach, and an expert at turning fear into freedom. Sign up for Terri’s weekly Newsletter, check out her blog and follow her on Twitter.

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The human experience is full of great stuff like creativity, miracles, connection with others, laughter and dark chocolate. And because we evolve through contrast, our experience also includes challenging situations and things we may not put in the “great stuff” category. I call them expectation hangovers.

But the good news about the not so great stuff is that we have what it takes to let go of anything and everything that happens. The suffering from our expectation hangovers does not have to be permanent.

Bring to mind the most challenging thing you’ve endured. It probably brings up an uncomfortable feeling (or feelings). The memory of it may be something you cannot seem to escape and continues to impact the quality of your life.

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