There are two components to communication.
There is the speaker and there is the listener.
So when we talk about mindfulness in communication, we must remember that attentive listening is equally important , not only wary speaking.
Since we have treated mindful listening in a previous pole, today we will cover mindful speaking.
Just like mindful listening, when we talk mindfully, we should start by descending whatever “its by” we are doing and precisely focused on what we want to say.
Again, it is crucial to to establish good eye contact with the listener.
In addition to these two points, here are a few additional tips to speaking mindfully.
1. Clear your head of all assumptions
It is always a good doctrine to clarify what the listener already knows instead of making assumptions that he once knows it.
Then it becomes easier to adapt your address to what is relevant to him. Likewise, the listener is advisable to make it a practice to confirm and clarify any points he is unsure about.
Fixing excessive hypothesis can lead to misunderstanding.
2. Before you speak, pass across the Triple Filters test
Whenever we give something, it is crucial to to wonder first before we say it.
The Triple Filters test, attributed to the wise of Socrates, is a good way to reflect on what the hell are you want to say.
The first filter is TRUTH.
Is what you say true-blue? If “its not”, do not say it.
Even if it is true, we then need to filter it at the next level.
The second filter is GOODNESS.
Ask yourself, is it beneficial to the listener?
Will it do him good, or otherwise?
If it will not benefit him, or may even injure him, what would be the ability of saying it to him?
On the other side, if it is true and good, then we guide it through the third largest and final filter.
The third filter is APPROPRIATENESS.
For appropriateness, we need to look at whether it is appropriate in time, in place and in person. Is it the right time to say it?
Is this the right place for it? Are you the right person to say it, or is this the right person to say it to?
Passing through this Triple Filters test will make sure that your intention for pronouncing is good and not due to some veiled greedy agenda.
3. As you are speaking, be mindful of a few things
The first thing to be mindful of “when you’re talking” is to notice whether the words you choose are appropriate and accurately send the meaning you purposed.
Next, watch the manner of your utter.
Is it friendly and warm, or unfriendly?
Is there any suggestion of analysis or opinion? Be mindful also of your body language, gesticulates and postures.
Remember that a warm friendly speech is always more greeting than a coarse answer, and the listener is more likely to be receptive to it.
It may be difficult to be mindful of all the above when we first tradition mindfulness in speaking, but as with all knowledge, with constant pattern it will become easier.
Formerly you have to become good at it, you will notice the transformation in your relationships with others in a positive way.