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Having sex can be awkward. Oddly enough, talking about sex can be even more awkward.

How do you bring up to your concerns, desires, or ideas to your spouse? What issues should you even talk about? How can you get them to understand you, and how can you possibly understand them?

It’s not easy, because you are two different people, with different histories, different perspectives, and different longings. But guess what? I’m making it much easier for you!

I’ve released a new book titled Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples. It provides you the framework for having productive conversations on all kinds of topics from kissing to sexual fantasies to frequency to erogenous zones to sexual baggage and much more.

This book is not prescriptive on what exactly your sex life should look like, but rather helps you discuss how you can address the sexual intimacy part of your marriage in a way that honors and satisfies both of you.

For some reading this, that may seem like a tall order. But I can’t think of anything in this book that would be problematic for either a higher-desire spouse or a lower-desire spouse. You each get the opportunity to express where you are and what you think. Of course, you’re often encouraged to not settle for the here-and-now but to pursue healthier and holier sexual intimacy, because that’s God’s design—for both of you and for your marriage.

To learn more about the book, head over to the Pillow Talk page on my site. You’ll find a full description, a sample view, and buy links. For a short time, the Pillow Talk ebook is offered at an introductory price of only $2.99! The print book is coming in early 2019.

I pray this resource will bless many marriages! Happy New Year.

The post Here’s How to Talk to Your Spouse About Sex appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.

Kate says . . .

I see it often. I hear comments from wives in their frustration. It is a common theme. Wives expressing that their husband is like having another child. That he adds to their stress in life, sometimes more than actual children.

I have no doubt everyone has encountered this theme in one form or another. While we can often seen themes and patterns in marriage, we need to stop and ask ourselves why those themes happen and what is behind them. Then speak truth and life into the situation.

This theme is most common after a couple has had children. I believe much of it stems from exhaustion, over taxing schedules and perhaps most importantly, lack of connection between husband and wife. The first two contribute to the last and the last breeds frustration. I am sure there are other things that contribute as well, but I believe these are the main contributing factors.

So what can we do, wives? First is recognize it for what it is. A pitfall because of our own “stuff” that we are experiencing. It is human nature, when we are tired and frustrated to look outward for the source of our frustration. Even though it is human nature doesn’t mean we should go with it. The enemy wants to use this very thing to help erode your marriage.

Second, we need to remind ourselves that: my husband is NOT another child and should never be treated as such. He is your husband and that alone is to be respected. Though you may have more on your plate and you don’t have as much time to devote to your husband as you used to, doesn’t mean he is an added stress.

Third, is to figure out how to proceed in your frustration. Looking inward first at why you are frustrated and stressed. Can that be changed by your mindset and things you are or aren’t doing. After doing your own self reflection, you can do an outward check. Is there something your husband could be helping you with. Something more you need from him, physically (helping out around the house or with the kids), emotionally (filling you up with your love language) or spiritually (praying with you and leading you). If there are needs you have, you have to be vulnerable and willing to share them with your husband. As always the way we approach such a conversation will greatly impact the outcome. Share how you are feeling with being stressed and ask kindly for help in the areas you need it.

Why, oh why are we so stubborn when it comes to asking for help? Again, it is easier to place blame outward than to humble ourselves and ask for help. I know for many years in our marriage and especially after kids, I expected Brad to anticipate my needs and to jump up to meet them. While their is a lesson for husbands in there of studying your wife and her needs, asking her regularly how you can help, we as wives have to be willing to be vulnerable and ask!

Our husbands want to be cherished, loved and respected for the men God has created them to be. They are a work in progress, just like us. We need to love them well and equating them to a child is not loving them well. Love your man well!

Wives: Is this something you struggle with as a wife? How have you overcome it? What are other things wives need to know about the subject?

Husbands: Has this been a theme in your marriage? How has it made you feel?

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A Kuwaiti court has imposed an additional bail demand of $132m on two business executives charged with embezzling funds from a state-owned entity, despite the case against them appearing to have collapsed amid claims of forged documents and countervailing judgements by other courts

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