Businesses are realising the risks climate change poses to their revenues, but they are also starting to find the opportunities to profit from the transition to a low-carbon world. Financial groups are set to suffer most, so they will put pressure on the firms they invest in to cut their emissions.
A host of U.S. consumer companies have warned that costs related to tariffs on goods imported from China will hit their profits.
I know from experience that just seeing that word caused different reactions among readers who believe it exists or doesn’t exist, who find the term accurate or insulting, who now feel understood or irritated. And while this doesn’t capture the whole picture, the line of who reacted how can be drawn between female and male.
If you’re a woman, you’re far more likely to agree “mansplaining” happens, to say you’ve experienced it, and to object to its use. If you’re a man, you’re far more likely to disagree that it happens, to say you haven’t seen or done it, and to object to the use of that word.
But what if I told you that women tend toward a communication style that really irritates men? Have you ever heard a husband say, “I wish she’d just get to the point”?
Well, he’s got a point.
Women are more likely to meander in conversation, sharing personal stories, including details, and checking for understanding as they speak. We often do this because it’s not the point that matters as much as the connection we feel from interacting with the person we’re talking to.
But that’s not how many men approach communication. So it’s understandably annoying for him when figuring out the takeaway feels like an impossible game of Where’s Waldo?
I’m not highlighting “mansplaining” and “womeandering”—yes, I made that up, and it should totally become a word—to get us upset about the opposite gender’s real or perceived communication flaws. Rather, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how men and women discuss sensitive topics.
From blog comment threads to Facebook post replies to my own interactions with my husband, I’m reminded how much our distinct perspectives play into conversational conflict.
Men tend to be more to the point, even gruff at times, to offer direct advice, and to feel disrespected when their feelings or points are not acknowledged. Meanwhile, women tend to tell stories as a way to convey that someone isn’t alone, to offer more detailed advice, and to feel personally hurt when their feelings or points are not acknowledged.
Does this describe all men and women? Of course not. As I often say, stereotypes exist for a reason, but they’re not all-encompassing. The gender continuum really looks more like this:
So you may identify strongly with what I said above (the ends), more in the middle, or in that overlapping part where you’re more like the other gender. Okay, fine. And just to be clear—not identifying with something labeled as men/women doesn’t make you any less masculine or feminine. God just made a variety of us. Still, it’s helpful to understand some generalities to communicate well with the opposite gender on social media and in face-to-face conversation.
And be sure not to take the stereotype for granted with your own spouse. Rather, ask your beloved which, if any, of the following common gender differences apply to them.
| MEN | WOMEN |
| Converse for information | Converse for connection |
| Wants to get to the point | Wants to share how she gets to the point |
| Talks more easily shoulder-to-shoulder | Talks more easily with eye contact |
| Responds by offering solutions | Responds by offering sympathy/empathy |
| Display less tone variation and gestures | Display more tone variation and gestures |
| Views strong challenges as disrespectful | Views strong challenges as insensitive |
If you went back and read blog posts I wrote specifically to women and others specifically to men, you’d see a difference in how I communicate. I also change my approach in the comments section depending on who I’m dealing with, which includes what I can glean about their background and personality as well as their gender. Because men and women tend to respond differently to different approaches.
But too often, we forget this in regular conversation—here on my blog and in my Facebook group, but most especially in our marriages.
Indeed, I was flummoxed this past weekend when I said something I thought was helping my husband and he felt challenged and disrespected. I didn’t intend that, but looking back, I can see how it came across to him that way. The gap in perception was mostly about gender communication differences.
What’s the solution? Well, we each need to give a little. But the burden to adapt seems to lie more with the speaker. That’s what you see over and over and over in Scripture: commands and advice about how we speak to one another. Here’s a sampling:
We won’t get it right every time. It really is hard to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. But it’s worth trying, because by making that effort we show love and respect to others, avoid some unnecessary conflict, and experience our own personal growth as we become more other-focused and simply kinder in how we communicate.
Now scroll back up and look at the table on what men and women tend to do. This time, instead of seeing whether you identify with the gender you are, ask what your spouse is like and how you could change your speech to cater to their needs. What if you both did that? Wouldn’t your discussions immediately become more productive?
I’m working on this, and I hope you will too.
And if you’re looking for ways to have more productive conversations about sexual intimacy, check out my recent release, Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples.
Now available in both ebook and paperback!
“Another inspiring scripture based marriage mega book from acclaimed writer J. Parker! An amazing book written with each chapter based on scriptures (provided too), with assignments for couples to complete with each other. Long awaited and it doesn’t disappoint!” – Jeremy, Amazon Reviewer
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Related post: Why She Communicates the Way She Does (and It May Not Be What You Think) at Generous Husband
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Given the opportunity, everyone would love to accumulate more wealth, make more money, and live an abundant life. However, many people have a poor relationship with money. They have trouble manifesting money and wealth into their lives, and as a result, never achieve the financial success they desire.
The truth is that financial success starts in the mind and the number one thing holding many people back is their belief system concerning wealth and money.
With that in mind, leveraging the Law of Attraction is one of the most effective ways to change your beliefs about money into a belief system that will open you up to the prosperity that is all around you. But first, you must take some steps to really see it work to change your life.
In order to activate the Law of Attraction in your life, you must identify and change your limiting beliefs about money. Throughout our lives, since childhood, we’ve created limiting beliefs about money that we’ve internalized over time and accepted to be true.” You’ve heard these limiting beliefs before.
They’re things like money doesn’t grow on trees and is therefore extremely difficult to acquire, or the idea that money can’t buy happiness, or the limiting belief that you can’t be rich and be a good person at the same time.
Before you can begin leveraging the Law of Attraction, it’s important to first identify and address any limiting beliefs about money that you might have.
Once you see money for what it really is – an accessible, unlimited supply of a resource you can use in any way that you desire – it’s much easier to form the habits and mindset necessary to acquire wealth.
One great way to address any limiting beliefs about money is through the use of positive affirmations.
For example, if you realize that you view money as something that is scarce and difficult to acquire, you could use a positive affirmation such as, “I’m a money magnet. Everything I touch turns to gold”.
Other positive affirmations you can use are, “I am releasing any and all negative thoughts and emotions about money, and am happy and free to visualize my dreams”.
Or, “I am creating all the money I want and need to accomplish everything I want to do in life.”
Try the affirmation, “I am making positive choices about what to do with my money and enjoying the energy of abundance that it reflects.”
What you say to yourself becomes what you believe, and what you truly believe becomes reality. By using positive affirmations to combat limiting beliefs about money, you can develop a mindset concerning money that enables you to leverage the Law of Attraction.
The Law of Attraction dictates that the things you believe inwardly and project outwardly will be the things that you attract into your life. If you want to attract something such as money, therefore, it’s important to visualize it as if you already have it.
Visualizing a world where you have all of the money that you desire not only creates a mindset that is more receptive to financial gain, it also enables you to imagine what your life will be like once you have reached your goals.
This, in and of itself, can serve as a powerful source of motivation that will keep pushing you forward when things get difficult.
Visualizing money as if you already have it can also create an abundance mindset, as opposed to a mindset of scarcity.
One of the big reasons why the wealthy have no problem getting richer is that they see the money they don’t have as something that is both abundant and acquirable, while at the same time, seeing the money they do have as a tool that can be used to make more money rather than something that has to be protected or saved.
This type of abundance mindset comes naturally when you have a lot of money, but it can also be developed by visualizing money as something that you already have in abundance.
If you want to create a physical anchor point for your visualizations, try carrying around a hundred dollar bill in your pocket.
Simply doing this can make you feel wealthier and prevent you from ever being able to say that you are broke – and thus prevent the limiting mindsets that go along with being broke.
Finally, remember that the Universe will provide you with more of what you’re grateful for. Never underestimate the power of gratitude.
Ultimately, the things that you are grateful for will be the things that you tend to pursue with the most passion. Truly being grateful for something also tends to eliminate any limiting beliefs you have, and will make you more receptive to new opportunities.
As you go about adopting a beneficial mindset regarding money that enables you to leverage the Law of Attraction, and don’t forget about the importance of gratitude.
No matter how much or how little money you are currently earning, an attitude of gratitude is essential if you want to earn more.
What are your limiting beliefs about money? Learn more about the Law of Attraction from this free guide.
As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!
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On Tuesday, we released another podcast episode on Sex Chat for Christian Wives, but this one was unusual: we hosted a male guest. Kevin A. Thompson is the lead pastor at Community Bible Church in western Arkansas, speaks at marriage and parenting conferences, and has authored two marriage books, including Friends, Lovers, and Partners.
I don’t know how I originally connected with Kevin, but I’ve read his blog for some time and interacted with him online. I’ve been impressed with his willingness to address tough topics from a biblical viewpoint. And he came at it again in his most recent book, Happily: 8 Commitments of Couples Who Laugh, Love & Last.
(Note: I received a copy of this book free from the author, but I promised nothing but to read it. My decision to write this review is entirely my own.)
Kevin starts by discussing our tendency tend to believe that happy and unhappy marriages occur through luck or by getting certain rules right, like “you must find and marry The One.” However, the real way to both avoid divorce and have a happy marriage is to embrace eight contrarian commitments he outlines in the book.
These contrarian commitments are Jesus’ contrarian principles for our lives, laid out in the Sermon on the Mount, the section we call the Beatitudes.
For example, the first commitment is to Happily Humble Yourselves. Easier said than done, right? And yet, think how many marriage struggles are caused or exacerbated by our lack of humility. As Kevin says, “At the heart of nearly every marriage problem is pride,” but he also points out that “most of the people we meet who lack humility are not arrogant; we are insecure.”
What if we instead had a right perspective of ourselves in comparison to God? What if we understood our value, so we didn’t fall prey to insecurity, as well as our insufficiency, so we didn’t fall prey to arrogance?
What if both of you approached your next conflict with humility? And what if you approached your marriage bed and all the issues surrounding it with true humility—neither arrogant nor insecure? Wouldn’t you listen better, make your requests in a more loving way, pursue help more quickly?
Now take the second commitment he covers: Embrace the Hurt. What?! you say. I didn’t get married to get hurt!
Well, are you breathing and in relationship with anyone on this earth? Then welcome to some hurt. In our broken world, that’s how this goes. We will disappoint one another. But that does not mean you cannot have genuine joy, because hurt can result in healing and growth.
Kevin reminds us, “Marriage reveals our flaws and exposes our greatest wounds.” It’s the iron sharpens iron principle, which I discuss at more length in my devotional book Intimacy Revealed. That friction reveals our flaws and gives us an opportunity to improve ourselves and serve others.
Of course, there’s a big difference between the regular, inherent hurt we feel when our differences rub against each another and the pain of abuse. If you’re experiencing the latter, you do not happily endure that. Kevin states that we need to distinguish which pain is a caused by a problem not to be tolerated and which is the result of our imperfection and need for growth.
For those in abusive situations, seek help. Today. Now. Stop reading this blog post and go research abuse resources in your area.
For those in the regular conflict of marriage, Happily‘s prescription is to mourn the emotional pain we feel when let down by others. Which will inevitably happen. But then seek how to grow together through the hurt.
As you can see, these two commitments reflect the first two Beatitudes from Matthew 5:3-4:
The remaining six commitments do the same:
Maybe some of those commitments surprise you, especially when paired with the word Happily.
Yet what made the difference in my own marriage when it was failing? Yes, I benefited a lot from specific resources that helped me work through issues in our relationship. My ministry is all about providing that kind of resource for couples who are struggling or simply want to improve their sexual intimacy.
But the key for me and my marriage was, through prayer and intention, living out biblical principles day to day: principles like those found in the love passage in 1 Corinthians 13, the Fruit of the Spirit in Galatians 5:22-23, and the Beatitudes as covered in this book. Once you shift your attitude to that of Christ, you can make real progress in your marriage.
Once you shift your attitude to that of Christ, you can make real progress in your marriage. via @hotholyhumorous
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And as Kevin says, those who put in the effort to have a good marriage may feel lucky, but it’s because they put in the effort that yielded the blessings. I recommend this as a book for a couples to read together and discuss, but it’s also good for one spouse to read and put into practice. Check it out here:
And be sure listen to our podcast episode with Kevin here:
The post Happily Book Review: Contrarian Advice for a Great Marriage appeared first on Hot, Holy & Humorous.
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There is nothing noble in being superior to your fellow man
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(CJ Op-Ed) — An audio recording from a private meeting that was leaked to The Washington Post reportedly features US Secretary of State Mike Pompeo vowing to “push back” against surging British Labour leader Jeremy Corbyn, and many are concerned that what he said sounds an awful lot like a top US official promising to interfere in the UK’s democratic process.
At a closed-door meeting with Jewish leaders earlier this month, one of the attendees asked Pompeo if Corbyn becomes Prime Minister, “would you be willing to work with us to take on actions if life becomes very difficult for Jews in the UK?”
Before I get to Pompeo’s response, I should interrupt myself to note that nobody actually believes that Corbyn would make life difficult for Jews in the UK. Anyone who claims to believe this is lying. Usually when you hear people regurgitating bullshit establishment lines they’re people who are acting basically in good faith, who are only spouting bullshit because they have been propagandized. Not so in this case. The idea that a man with a lifelong history of opposing bigotry is a secret antisemite who will facilitate the persecution of Jews if given the opportunity is a completely baseless smear campaign, and everyone knows it, including those who advance it.
The notion that Jeremy Corbyn advances antisemitism is literally just some gibberish the smear merchants made up to prevent the rise of a politician who threatens to upset existing power structures. It’s exactly as believable and exactly as legitimate as if British newspapers were constantly running headlines claiming that Corbyn is actually three children standing on each other’s shoulders inside grown-up’s clothes; the one and only difference is that they were able to make the antisemitism smear stick. Anyone who pretends to believe that Corbyn is a closet antisemite is exactly as honest and credible as someone who solemnly tells you, “I am very concerned about the fact that the Labour Party is led by a man who is secretly a cartoon mascot for a children’s breakfast cereal.”
Oh my days. Why isn’t this all over the news? This should be huge.
Mike Pompeo Threatens To Intervene In British Democracy To Stop Corbyn Becoming Prime Minister
Via @RespectIsVital https://t.co/dkeO95mjlm— Rachael Swindon (@Rachael_Swindon) June 10, 2019
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So anyway, Pompeo is asked by some ridiculous twat what he’s going to do in the event of a Corbyn-led Kristallnacht, and WaPo reports on his response as follows:
Pompeo said, “It could be that Mr. Corbyn manages to run the gauntlet and get elected. It’s possible. You should know, we won’t wait for him to do those things to begin to push back. We will do our level best,” he said to fervent applause from attendees.
“It’s too risky and too important and too hard once it’s already happened,” he said.
This revelation, understandably, has kicked up a fair bit of chatter in merry old England.
“President Trump and his officials’ attempts to decide who will be Britain’s next prime minister are an entirely unacceptable interference in the UK’s democracy,” The Guardian quotes a Labour spokesperson as saying in response to the revelation.
“STOP: The Secretary of State Mike Pompeo just promised ‘Jewish leaders’ in the United States that he would stop Jeremy Corbyn coming to power here,” tweeted former British MP George Galloway. “Is this normal now? Is this what we’ve been led to? Is this good for Jews? For Britain? Really?”
“They did it in Latin America, Africa and Asia. Now the US government wants to overthrow democracy in Britain,” tweeted The Guardian’s George Monbiot. “Still waiting for a UK government spokesperson to express their outrage. Hello???”
“Hmm. Hard to spin this any other way: the US secretary of state secretly promises US Jewish leaders to prevent Corbyn from becoming UK prime minister,” tweeted British journalist Jonathan Cook. “Hard too not to suspect that the US is *already* helping to ensure Corbyn doesn’t become PM. Because the obvious implication of Pompeo’s comment is that the US knows it can damage Corbyn without leaving fingerprints at the crime scene — presumably through black ops, image management etc. The elephant in the room: Why assume the US isn’t already using those techniques?”
Hmm. Hard to spin this any other way: the US secretary of state secretly promises US Jewish leaders to prevent Corbyn from becoming UK prime minister. Hard too not to suspect that the US is *already* helping to ensure Corbyn doesn't become PM https://t.co/WXU7Kch2Yk
— Jonathan Cook (@Jonathan_K_Cook) June 10, 2019
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It is no secret that the DC establishment considers other nations to be its personal property and has no qualms about openly working to topple the governments of nations like Venezuela and Iran, but people aren’t accustomed to hearing this sort of language directed at white, English-speaking liberal democracies. Add in the fact that this is coming from a particularly reviled administration in terms of international optics and the likely public revulsion increases. The thought that this administration may decide the direction of UK politics would be all kinds of infuriating to the average pom.
So many questions need to be answered. Was Pompeo in fact saying that the US is intending to prevent Corbyn from becoming Prime Minister? And if so, how? What exactly does “push back” entail? Are we talking psyops and smear campaigns? Or something more? And whatever they intend to do, have they started doing it already?
These are all questions that we should be intensely curious about. If Corbyn is able to continue to rise, we may begin seeing some increasingly overt manipulations from many places we’re not meant to be seeing them as an ailing empire fights to hold itself together in the face of increasing public discontent. The more overt the guardians of the empire are forced to be, the more they expose themselves, and the greater that public discontent may become. Our rulers are in a very complex balancing act right now, and we’d all do well to pay attention.
By Caitlin Johnstone | CaitlinJohnstone.com
The views in this article may not reflect editorial policy of The Mind Unleashed.
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When life cracks you open and brings you to your knees, everything shifts inside. And the world, life, relationships… they start to feel really abrasive. Because they’re exactly the same as they were in the moment before you were altered to your core, but you can’t be. You’re not that person anymore.
But you’re not.
Everything is different and you’re still figuring out what that means for you as a person, let alone how to relate to everyone and everything else. Life feels so incredibly painful and hard, because it just keeps going. The expectations and obligations remain the same. You have to pay the bills. You have to fulfill promises. You have to follow through on your commitments. You have to show up and do the work. There’s no leave of absence, no reprieve.
So you do your best, and you fail miserably. You try to show up and follow through, but mostly you fall short and let others down. You struggle. You cry a lot. Eventually, you begin to find your footing in the world again. You begin to find workarounds or tools and people to help you make this living thing easier and less painful. Seamless instead of chaotic and jarring.
You pay the bills.
You keep your promises.
You fulfill the many obligations.
You follow through on commitments.
You show up and do the work.
But you’re still a little bit broken. You’re still a little unsteady. You’re still figuring out where all the shattered pieces go, and what’s supposed to replace the ones that are missing. You’re still a work in progress.
But I would add that compassion, understanding, and acknowledgment of all you’ve been through doesn’t last anywhere near as long as it takes to really return from the journey you’ve been forced to walk. Not nearly as long as it takes for you to really discover who you are in the aftermath and what you want to create in the many chapters that will follow.
All I know is that we have to fiercely commit to completing the journey on our own terms… because no one else has the ability to understand what it feels like for you to stand where you’re standing. Because this is the part where you really begin to see the gifts from all you’ve walked through, but that’s not going to happen if you let others tell you where you should go, who you should be, or how you should be living your life. It’s not going to happen if you bend and fold to meet the expectations others have of who you need to be, especially if it’s based around who you were before.
You just need to commit to it with your whole heart and soul, and have the hard conversations when they’re required.
Stephenie Zamora is an author and life coach, business and marketing strategist, and founder of CallOfTheVoid.tv., where she merges the worlds of personal development, energy healing, intuitive coaching, writing, and mixed media art to help individuals rise up and come back from the darkest, hardest chapters of life. She guides her clients through the challenging process of re-orienting to their lives, relationships, and work in a way that’s fully aligned with who they’ve become in the aftermath of loss, trauma, depression, and big life changes. After struggling with PTSD, grief, and anxiety from a sudden and traumatic loss, she navigated her own difficult healing journey, and has set out to help others find the purpose of their own path using The Hero’s Journey as a framework. She is also the founder of Stephenie Zamora Media, the author of Awesome Life Tips®, creator of Journey Mapping Sessions
, and is currently working on a second book, Unravel. Her work has been featured on The Huffington Post, Yahoo Shine, Elite Daily, Positively Positive, and many other publications over the years. Connect with her on Facebook, Instagram, YouTube, or at www.CallOfTheVoid.tv.
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Now and then, I get a question that goes something like this:
My husband always climaxes during sex, but I often don’t. I leave feeling unsatisfied and even frustrated that I didn’t get to have my orgasm, when he always gets to have his. He wishes I could get there too, but doesn’t really put in the effort to get me there.
Sometimes there’s a caveat, like: I take a long time to reach orgasm, so I know it’s hard for him to keep going.
Regardless, this inquiry comes up often enough that I can say without doubt: Some husbands don’t prioritize their wife’s orgasm nearly enough.
Sure, a husband could be a selfish lover who goes after his own satisfaction without taking full consideration of his wife’s sexual desires. But oftentimes, it’s something else.
They haven’t been taught what it’s like for a woman. And without more to go on, they figure your orgasm should work like theirs. Meaning you get aroused, you have sex, you climax, and that’s that. It’s a fairly straightforward.
If your husband was exposed to pornography, or simply paid attention to movie and TV sex scenes, he may have also swallowed the ideas that a woman can be ready for intercourse quickly, that penetration will bring her to climax, and that if she isn’t orgasming, it’s a problem with her. Erroneous information, of course, but if this is what you’ve seen/heard all your life, it’s confusing when your wife doesn’t behave like that in bed.
If your husband doesn’t seem to understand how your arousal and climax work, ask if he’d be willing to listen to a podcast with you. It’s less than 26 minutes long, and if you use a podcast app and change the settings, you can listen to it even faster. (I often put mine on 1.2x speed.) Meaning it’s not much to ask! But it might help for your husband to hear four seasoned wives talking about how women’s sexual response works.
You can also get my book, Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations About Sex for Married Couples, which has several chapters in which you can explain what things are like for you and listen to what it’s like for him. By learning more about each other, without criticism or judgment, you can develop a healthier view of what you should be pursuing together for your sexual intimacy. Which involves climax.
But there could be another good reason.
One of the biggest myths perpetuated both in secular and religious culture is that sex is primary for the husband. (Listen to Lies Woman Believe episode.) Except that’s not at all what God said. The passage often used to urge wives to have more sex with their husband, 1 Corinthians 7:3-5, doesn’t say, “Wives, give it up for your husband, whether you wanna or not.”
Although the passage talks about an obligation to have sex in marriage, that’s not the point! Paul’s main point is that there must be mutuality in the marriage bed! And if anything, the verse begins with her “marital rights,” not his: “The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.”
Yet men have heard this passage and others used—as well as common advice given here, there, and everywhere—to say that the husband’s part is needing sex and the wife’s part is owing her husband sex. It’s total malarkey, but if this is the bad teaching your husband received, he may have come into marriage not expecting you to enjoy it as much as he does or believing your climax doesn’t matter as much as his.
Stinks, I know. But when we realize that our husbands also received wrong messages, we can see that it’s not malice that keeps him from aiming for your orgasm. He simply needs to learn the truth about what God desires for both of you in your marriage—a sizzling, satisfying sex life.
In addition to the ideas above, I suggest having a conversation away from the bedroom. Tell him what you desire and why. Explain to him how your body works. And ask how he would feel if he was super turned on but didn’t get his climax. I suspect he wouldn’t like that, and neither do you.
Now, not every wife feels the need to climax every time. But if climax isn’t a regular part of your lovemaking, you need to work toward that goal. God created women’s bodies to experience orgasm through the wonderful organ called the clitoris. Yep, that clitoris has one job and one job only—to make sex feel good. And when it gets to the peak of pleasure, you experience muscle spasms that should at least provide a sense of relief if not real excitement.
As to how to prioritize your orgasm, here are a few ideas:
It’s a phrase you often hear: she goes first. And it’s not a bad idea. Especially since the average time he can last in intercourse is far less than the average time it takes for a woman to reach the level of arousal she needs to climax. Moreover, a lot of women don’t, or even can’t, climax during intercourse!
Read up on what really helps a woman climax here:
They may not (see above), but it could be worth a shot.
For some wives, it’s better to be on top, so she can have more control with the thrusting and tilt her hips in a way that provides pressure against her clitoris. For other wives, a rear-entry position could result in the husband getting deeper and better friction. And for others, face-to-face is the key, but maybe angling your hips upward or putting your feet on his stomach or your knees over his shoulders (assuming that works with your size/height). A sex pillow might help you achieve better angling too.
I also have a chapter about positions in my Hot, Holy, and Humorous book that can walk you through ways to shift your bodies around and find something that might work for both of you.
You might combine intercourse and clitoral stimulation to achieve nice results. Get into a position in which he can reach your clitoral hood (that’s the knobby part of your clitoris that sticks out and swells when aroused). Make sure you have adequate lubrication, and add some personal lubricant if needed.
Give him tips on the level of pressure and amount of movement you desire. You may not know yourself until you try it out, but once he hits a good place, let him know. And since one thing doesn’t work for the whole time with most wives, let your husband know when you need him to slow down, increase speed, press harder, etc.
If you’re looking for which positions will work best, check out this page from Christian Friendly Sex Positions and choose “clitoral stimulation” in the search parameters:
It can be challenging for your husband to focus on his thrusting and your clitoral stimulation at the same time, so an alternative is for him to focus on the intercourse while you use your own fingers to bring yourself to climax.
Most husbands would be fine with this—and may find that enthusiasm arousing—but make sure your particular husband understands why you want to do this and that it isn’t taking away from the wonderful experience of having him inside you. If anything, having your husband inside when it happens can make a clitoral orgasm better.
Let him know the intercourse was great, but you’re not really done and would like to finish with an orgasm yourself. Suggest what you’d like for him to do to help you. Do you want him to manually stimulate you to climax? Do you want him to simply caress, kiss, fondle, etc. while you bring yourself to climax?
Your orgasm is still a mutual experience this way, with both of you focused on connection and pleasure.
Yes, I’m sure some husbands are exhausted post-intercourse and aren’t sure they have it in them to keep going. But if you can prevail a few times, I suspect he’ll see the benefit and realize it’s not much more to ask.
If you did all of this, and he still ignored your climax? Then I’d suspect the problem runs deeper than the bedroom, and I’d ask for marriage counseling.
But hopefully, one or more of the suggestions above will get the point across and help you both prioritize your pleasure—as God intended sex to be in your marriage.
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