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Deciding whether or not texting your ex on their birthday is a good idea is up to you. Each and every relationship, breakup, and ex is different.
I know that’s probably is not what you wanted to hear. You wanted a yes or a no, but just like everything with your ex, it is pretty complicated.
Should you be texting your ex on their birthday?
Will texting your ex at all, even on their birthday, bring up old wounds? Will they want to hang out? Will they even answer? Why do you want to reach out? Is it out of politeness or do you want to get back together?
All of these things and more need to be considered before you decide whether or not texting your ex on their birthday is a smart thing for you to do. Also, try not to get drunk on their birthday, chances are you will make the wrong decision.
But, here is some good news… There are things that make texting your ex on their birthday a yes or a no. And they can be figured out pretty easily. [Read: Questions to ask yourself if you ex asks to be friends]
When texting your ex on their birthday is okay
Like I said, texting your ex on their birthday is not always a good idea, but here is when it is a totally safe move.
#1 You are still friends. If you are still friends then go for it. There is no reason to avoid each other, especially on their birthday. If you hang out in the same crowd, text on occasion, and everything is totally normal then, by all means, send a birthday cake emoji and funny GIF. [Read: How to be friends with your ex without any complications]
#2 You work together. Again, if you see your ex regularly, not saying happy birthday is weirder than saying it. It doesn’t have to be a big paragraph about what they mean to you, but a simple, “I hope you have a great birthday,” is all that is required.
The fact that you reached out and were polite shows your maturity. You already are fine seeing each other regularly, so a simple happy birthday text should be no problem. But, keep it during the day so that you don’t risk texting them while they are out celebrating. [Read: The most common types of exes modern daters have to deal with]
#3 You ended things on good terms. If you ended cordially, a birthday text is a nice way to say no hard feelings. It keeps the lines of communication open, but only ajar. It does not insinuate feelings, just politeness.
#4 There is no drama. Even if you rarely talk, you can reach out for their birthday. Maybe you had a bad breakup but you both moved on. Saying happy birthday should not stir the pot.
But do make sure there isn’t something underlying it.
#5 You do not have an ulterior motive. If you have no feelings but appreciation and friendship then a birthday text to your ex is totally and completely fine. If you saw it was their birthday on Facebook or an old photo popped up, it is no big deal.
Just keep it light and polite like wishing a happy birthday to your boss. No need to reminisce.
#6 They texted you for your birthday. If your ex texted you for your birthday and all went well go for it. You already know you are handling things well. A simple birthday text won’t risk the peace you have going on.
When texting your ex on their birthday is not okay
So, it is pretty clear that texting your ex on their birthday is on the table if all is good and the air is clear. But, there are definitely times when texting your ex on their birthday is bad news.
#1 You still have feelings for them. Just say no. If the feelings are fresh and you are trying to move on, just don’t even go there. If you need to, go out with a friend or do something to keep your mind off of your ex until the day is done.
If you have even the slightest emotion for them, any text, even one as innocent as a happy birthday can lead to drama and pain. [Read: 12 reasons why the no contact rule always works]
#2 You’re angry at them. Even couples that end on good terms have a touch of anger or bitterness. Whether someone reached out to someone’s new partner or tried to hit on the other’s BFF, do not risk opening old wounds.
If there is any fresh bitterness between you, even slightly, just let it pass. They won’t be waiting for a text for you or expecting it. And if they are, then they have not moved on and even a birthday text to your ex can cause drama.
#3 You miss them. We all have moments when we miss our ex. It happens. You focus in on the good memories and want to reach out to reminisce or just show them you are thinking of them. That is a bad idea.
If you miss them, a birthday text can go from simple to loaded real quick. So just cool it. You do not need to text them. No one will think you are mean or heartless. All not texting them says is that you have moved on. If you really miss them, it will pass with time. [Read: Do you think of your ex all the time? Here’s what you need to know]
#4 You closed that chapter. If you have moved on, good for you. If you haven’t thought about your ex at all or spoke to them in months, great. But, you just saw on your calendar or online that it is their birthday, so what?
You don’t think about them any other time of the year or text them whenever they post something online. So just move on. No need to reach out. In all likelihood, they aren’t thinking about you texting them either. So just let a sleeping dog lie. Keep that chapter closed.
#5 You just broke up. I do not care if you broke up last week, last month, or yesterday if that wound is fresh even a like on Instagram pulls at heartstrings. So, a full-on birthday text just prevents the moving no process.
Sure, at this point they might be offended you didn’t reach out, but so what? It is not your responsibility to make your ex feel good or feel like you still care. I know that sounds harsh, but it is true. [Read: How to know if someone misses you – 17 signs they still do]
#6 You had a bad breakup. Even if you broke up ages ago, if the last time you spoke was negative, included fighting, screaming, or was traumatic, there is zero need to text your ex on their birthday. There is a good chance that neither one of you have had closure from that, even if it was a while ago.
And on their birthday is not the time to settle old scores.
#7 You are hoping to get back together. If you secretly want to get back together or are just feeling lonely, again, your ex’s birthday is not the time to chance it. Saying happy birthday is one thing, but if you are hoping for something more than a thank you, you will just leave them with a bad taste in their mouth.
You will likely get upset and they will likely be annoyed. So, find companionship elsewhere. It is their birthday, let them celebrate it without you; not even a text from you. [Read: 16 signs your ex wants you back in their life]
#8 They are in a relationship, and you are single. Jealousy is a sour feeling. You can swallow it down all you want and pretend you are genuinely happy for them, but if you are not in a relationship, it is likely you are just a little bit bitter.
Do not text your ex on their birthday if this is your situation. You may think you are being innocent but just don’t. Not only could this risk your ex’s current relationship, but it is not necessary. The most innocent thing you can do for them is not text.
No matter how much you think you are just being nice, and I am sure a part of you is, it is best to keep your distance. [Read: 7 ways to resist the urge to call your ex]
#9 You’ve been stalking their social media. You knew their birthday was on the rise. You have been scoping out their Instagram Story and Facebook statuses. We all do it from time to time, but if you are doing that, you are more invested in them than is called for.
Sure, you could wish them a happy birthday publicly on social media so that there is no real need to respond with more than a like, but why bother? You are already driving yourself a little bit crazy investigating each of their photos, why put yourself through text-analyzing torture too?
#10 Any reason other than wishing them a happy birthday. If even the smallest part of you wants to reach out for any reason other than saying happy birthday do not do it. If you are expecting a response or small talk after your initial text, just do not even go there.
They may respond thank you or not at all and that is their choice. They are your ex and you are theirs, you do not owe each other anything, not even a text on their birthday.
[Read: 7 reasons why staying friends with an ex just doesn’t work]
Texting your ex on their birthday can be completely innocent and kind, but it can also open old wounds, cause drama, or just make things weird. So, what did you decide?
The post Texting Your Ex on Their Birthday: 16 Clues to Make Up Your Mind is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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Maybe your boyfriend is having a hard time in a particular class, his new boss is really driving him over the edge, or he’s just feeling a little down. You can still send him positive thoughts, even over text. And I’m going to show you how to make your boyfriend happy over text.
But remember, don’t use this as a replacement for face-to-face communication. Texting should be used as a supportive tool. If you find yourself texting him more often than you see him, this is not a good method of communication for your relationship.
Stay present and use texting only as a way to make him happy when you’re not able to physically be with him. [Read: All the cute things to text your boyfriend]
How to make your boyfriend happy over text
In today’s digital age, we’re all glued to our phones. Once, I denied and argued with people, telling them this wasn’t true for me, but I give up. I’m addicted. I try to not use my phone as much, but it’s hard.
With that being said, since our phones are always close by, it’s become a major way to communicate with the people around us. The people closest to us—our friends, partners, and family members—you text them all. Though I usually argue that texting is destructive. Because, let’s face it, it is.
In some circumstances, texting can be a positive way to communicate with people. If you’re not always able to be near your partner when they have a bad day at work or are feeling a little down, you can still communicate with them!
#1 Wish him a good morning and a good night. Who doesn’t love getting good morning and good night texts from someone you love? Those are the sweetest texts you could ever get. If you know he has a stressful day at work coming up, send him a sweet and lovely good morning text. Add in an emoji for fun. You can also make these texts a tradition when you wake up together. [Read: Good morning texts to make your man feel loved and adored]
#2 Send him a single emoji. Who knew that there are times where emojis can say more than words? Well, they can. If your words fail you, sometimes an image can say it all for you. Send him an ‘in love’ emoji or if he’s coming over later, send him the infamous ‘eggplant.’ These small messages will brighten up his day. [Read: Flirty emojis to make you a pro flirty texter in no time]
#3 Send him a funny meme. Memes have become a staple in most of our lives. Why else do we use Instagram? Okay, for selfies, but also for the memes! If you find a funny meme or a meme that reminds you of him, send it to him. It’ll bring a smile to his face, and he’ll be happy to see you two connecting.
#4 Flirt with him over text. You heard me, flirt with him. Just because you’ve been together for a while, doesn’t mean you can’t flirt with him. Get flirty, girl. Send him a cheeky text message or a naughty photo. It’s a great way to capture his attention and get him excited about seeing you later on. [Read: 18 texting secrets to go from timid to text temptress]
#5 Send him cute texts. When you send him a cute and mushy text message, how can he not fall in love with you all over again? By sending him a cute text, you’ll bring a goofy smile to his face. But, do you know which texts to send him?
20 texts to make your boyfriend really happy
You just read that sending him cute texts can make your boyfriend happy, but do you know which texts are the ones you should be sending him? If not, don’t worry. I have you covered. Here are 20 texts that’ll make your boyfriend as happy as apple pie.
#1 You’re my whole world. That’s all he’s ever wanted. [Read: Fun emojis couples need to use more often]
#2 I’m so proud of you. You stand by your partner, and he’s happy to know that.
#3 You’re so handsome. You’re only speaking the truth!
#4 How can you make me blush when you’re not even here?! He’s one gifted man!
#5 I feel so safe when I’m next to you. Every man wants to protect his partner.
#6 You’ve been on my mind since last night, it was perfect. Oh, he’ll be happy to hear this.
#7 I’m so lucky to have you as my best friend. He’s more than your boyfriend, he’s your partner. [Read: 20 adorable ways to sweet-talk a guy and steal his heart]
#8 You’re the only one who can make me feel like this. Knowing that will give him the biggest smile in the world.
#9 My friends are all jealous I have a man like you. While making him happy, you’ll also be boosting his ego at the same time.
#10 All I want to do is make you smile. And he knows it. That’s why he works so hard to make sure you’re smiling too.
#11 You’re the only one who can make me smile like this. And he’s happy to know that.
#12 You have the sexiest brain. His brain is what turns you on the most.
#13 When do I get to see you again? You can’t wait any longer!
#14 You, me, Netflix? How can anyone not smile to the thought of Netflix and chill? [Read: How to do a Netflix and chill date right]
#15 Missing you! If you miss him, let him know!
#16 Tell me, how did I get so lucky? I must say, he’s pretty lucky to have you too. [Read: 25 compliments for guys they’ll never ever forget]
#17 Sorry for the late reply, I was bragging about you to my family. He has to know how proud you are of him.
#18 Do you remember our first date? The minute he reads that, he automatically starts smiling.
#19 I love how I can be myself around you. Isn’t that what love is really about? Finding a true connection? [Read: How to work your magic over text with a guy]
#20 How are you even real! Well? We’re all waiting for an answer. Seriously, tell us.
[Read: 35 texts that will leave him craving your touch]
Now you know how to make your boyfriend happy over text and what you can text him. It looks like you’re all set to bring a smile to your boyfriend’s face!
The post How to Make Your Boyfriend Happy Over Text & Make Him Love You More is the original content of LovePanky – Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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From time to time we say and do things that are not loving, kind, or helpful. In a marriage, these failures build into walls of separation. If you would like to remove past failures, you must first identify them. Get pen and paper and then, ask God to bring to your mind, the ways you have hurt your spouse in the past. Now, go to your children individually and ask them to tell you times when they have seen you being unkind to your spouse. Get ready, because children can be brutally honest. Then ask the same question to close friends who have had the opportunity to observe your behavior. This process can be painful, but it is the first step in dealing with past failures.
The post Most of Us Will Admit That We Are Not Perfect appeared first on The 5 Love Languages®.