June 13, 2019

http://feeds.reuters.com/~r/reuters/INbusinessNews/~3/hs66iODhklk/factbox-u-s-companies-warn-on-trumps-tariffs-idINKCN1TE2R8

A host of U.S. consumer companies have warned that costs related to tariffs on goods imported from China will hit their profits.

Mansplaining.

I know from experience that just seeing that word caused different reactions among readers who believe it exists or doesn’t exist, who find the term accurate or insulting, who now feel understood or irritated. And while this doesn’t capture the whole picture, the line of who reacted how can be drawn between female and male.

If you’re a woman, you’re far more likely to agree “mansplaining” happens, to say you’ve experienced it, and to object to its use. If you’re a man, you’re far more likely to disagree that it happens, to say you haven’t seen or done it, and to object to the use of that word.

But what if I told you that women tend toward a communication style that really irritates men? Have you ever heard a husband say, “I wish she’d just get to the point”?

Well, he’s got a point.

Women are more likely to meander in conversation, sharing personal stories, including details, and checking for understanding as they speak. We often do this because it’s not the point that matters as much as the connection we feel from interacting with the person we’re talking to.

But that’s not how many men approach communication. So it’s understandably annoying for him when figuring out the takeaway feels like an impossible game of Where’s Waldo?

Yes, we’re different.

I’m not highlighting “mansplaining” and “womeandering”—yes, I made that up, and it should totally become a word—to get us upset about the opposite gender’s real or perceived communication flaws. Rather, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking lately about how men and women discuss sensitive topics.

From blog comment threads to Facebook post replies to my own interactions with my husband, I’m reminded how much our distinct perspectives play into conversational conflict.

Men tend to be more to the point, even gruff at times, to offer direct advice, and to feel disrespected when their feelings or points are not acknowledged. Meanwhile, women tend to tell stories as a way to convey that someone isn’t alone, to offer more detailed advice, and to feel personally hurt when their feelings or points are not acknowledged.

What’s your communication style?

Does this describe all men and women? Of course not. As I often say, stereotypes exist for a reason, but they’re not all-encompassing. The gender continuum really looks more like this:

So you may identify strongly with what I said above (the ends), more in the middle, or in that overlapping part where you’re more like the other gender. Okay, fine. And just to be clear—not identifying with something labeled as men/women doesn’t make you any less masculine or feminine. God just made a variety of us. Still, it’s helpful to understand some generalities to communicate well with the opposite gender on social media and in face-to-face conversation.

And be sure not to take the stereotype for granted with your own spouse. Rather, ask your beloved which, if any, of the following common gender differences apply to them.

How does this apply to real life?

If you went back and read blog posts I wrote specifically to women and others specifically to men, you’d see a difference in how I communicate. I also change my approach in the comments section depending on who I’m dealing with, which includes what I can glean about their background and personality as well as their gender. Because men and women tend to respond differently to different approaches.

But too often, we forget this in regular conversation—here on my blog and in my Facebook group, but most especially in our marriages.

Indeed, I was flummoxed this past weekend when I said something I thought was helping my husband and he felt challenged and disrespected. I didn’t intend that, but looking back, I can see how it came across to him that way. The gap in perception was mostly about gender communication differences.

What’s the solution? Well, we each need to give a little. But the burden to adapt seems to lie more with the speaker. That’s what you see over and over and over in Scripture: commands and advice about how we speak to one another. Here’s a sampling:

• “Those who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from calamity” (Proverbs 21:23).
• “Those who consider themselves religious and yet do not keep a tight rein on their tongues deceive themselves, and their religion is worthless” (James 1:26).
• “Gracious words are a honeycomb, sweet to the soul and healing to the bones” (Proverbs 16:24).
• “Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen” (Ephesians 4:19). 

We won’t get it right every time. It really is hard to put yourself in the other person’s shoes. But it’s worth trying, because by making that effort we show love and respect to others, avoid some unnecessary conflict, and experience our own personal growth as we become more other-focused and simply kinder in how we communicate.

What it all means when talking to your spouse.

Now scroll back up and look at the table on what men and women tend to do. This time, instead of seeing whether you identify with the gender you are, ask what your spouse is like and how you could change your speech to cater to their needs. What if you both did that? Wouldn’t your discussions immediately become more productive?

I’m working on this, and I hope you will too.

And if you’re looking for ways to have more productive conversations about sexual intimacy, check out my recent release, Pillow Talk: 40 Conversations about Sex for Married Couples.

Now available in both ebook and paperback!

“Another inspiring scripture based marriage mega book from acclaimed writer J. Parker! An amazing book written with each chapter based on scriptures (provided too), with assignments for couples to complete with each other. Long awaited and it doesn’t disappoint!” – Jeremy, Amazon Reviewer

Amazon: https://amzn.to/2TVdFcD
Barnes & Noble: https://bit.ly/2GOXKZC
iBooks: https://apple.co/2X6Bct7
Kobo: https://bit.ly/2DQQ0TG

Related post: Why She Communicates the Way She Does (and It May Not Be What You Think) at Generous Husband

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Given the opportunity, everyone would love to accumulate more wealth, make more money, and live an abundant life. However, many people have a poor relationship with money. They have trouble manifesting money and wealth into their lives, and as a result, never achieve the financial success they desire.

The truth is that financial success starts in the mind and the number one thing holding many people back is their belief system concerning wealth and money.

With that in mind, leveraging the Law of Attraction is one of the most effective ways to change your beliefs about money into a belief system that will open you up to the prosperity that is all around you. But first, you must take some steps to really see it work to change your life.

1. Identify Your Limiting Beliefs About Money

In order to activate the Law of Attraction in your life, you must identify and change your limiting beliefs about money. Throughout our lives, since childhood, we’ve created limiting beliefs about money that we’ve internalized over time and accepted to be true.” You’ve heard these limiting beliefs before.

They’re things like money doesn’t grow on trees and is therefore extremely difficult to acquire, or the idea that money can’t buy happiness, or the limiting belief that you can’t be rich and be a good person at the same time.

Before you can begin leveraging the Law of Attraction, it’s important to first identify and address any limiting beliefs about money that you might have.

Once you see money for what it really is – an accessible, unlimited supply of a resource you can use in any way that you desire – it’s much easier to form the habits and mindset necessary to acquire wealth.

One great way to address any limiting beliefs about money is through the use of positive affirmations.

For example, if you realize that you view money as something that is scarce and difficult to acquire, you could use a positive affirmation such as, “I’m a money magnet. Everything I touch turns to gold”.

Other positive affirmations you can use are, “I am releasing any and all negative thoughts and emotions about money, and am happy and free to visualize my dreams”.

Or, “I am creating all the money I want and need to accomplish everything I want to do in life.” 

Try the affirmation, “I am making positive choices about what to do with my money and enjoying the energy of abundance that it reflects.”

What you say to yourself becomes what you believe, and what you truly believe becomes reality. By using positive affirmations to combat limiting beliefs about money, you can develop a mindset concerning money that enables you to leverage the Law of Attraction.

2. Visualize Your Wealth as if You’ve Already Achieved it

The Law of Attraction dictates that the things you believe inwardly and project outwardly will be the things that you attract into your life. If you want to attract something such as money, therefore, it’s important to visualize it as if you already have it.

Visualizing a world where you have all of the money that you desire not only creates a mindset that is more receptive to financial gain, it also enables you to imagine what your life will be like once you have reached your goals.

This, in and of itself, can serve as a powerful source of motivation that will keep pushing you forward when things get difficult.

Visualizing money as if you already have it can also create an abundance mindset, as opposed to a mindset of scarcity.

One of the big reasons why the wealthy have no problem getting richer is that they see the money they don’t have as something that is both abundant and acquirable, while at the same time, seeing the money they do have as a tool that can be used to make more money rather than something that has to be protected or saved.

This type of abundance mindset comes naturally when you have a lot of money, but it can also be developed by visualizing money as something that you already have in abundance.

If you want to create a physical anchor point for your visualizations, try carrying around a hundred dollar bill in your pocket.

Simply doing this can make you feel wealthier and prevent you from ever being able to say that you are broke – and thus prevent the limiting mindsets that go along with being broke.

3. The Universe Will Provide You With More

Finally, remember that the Universe will provide you with more of what you’re grateful for. Never underestimate the power of gratitude.

Ultimately, the things that you are grateful for will be the things that you tend to pursue with the most passion. Truly being grateful for something also tends to eliminate any limiting beliefs you have, and will make you more receptive to new opportunities.

As you go about adopting a beneficial mindset regarding money that enables you to leverage the Law of Attraction, and don’t forget about the importance of gratitude.

Be thankful for the money that you have. Be thankful for every opportunity you get to make more money, and be thankful when those opportunities pay off. @JackCanfield (Click to Tweet!)

No matter how much or how little money you are currently earning, an attitude of gratitude is essential if you want to earn more.

What are your limiting beliefs about money? Learn more about the Law of Attraction from this free guide.

As the beloved originator of the Chicken Soup for the Soul^® series, Jack Canfield fostered the emergence of inspirational anthologies as a genre—and watched it grow to a billion dollar market. As the driving force behind the development and delivery of over 100 million books sold through the Chicken Soup for the Soul^® franchise, Jack Canfield is uniquely qualified to talk about success. Jack is America’s #1 Success Coach and wrote the life-changing book The Success Principles: How to Get From Where You Are to Where You Want to Be and Jack speaks around the world on this subject. Check out his newest book The 30-Day Sobriety Solution: How to Cut Back or Quit Drinking in the Privacy of Your Own Home. Follow Jack at www.jackcanfield.com and sign up for his free resources today!

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