Why Victims of Abuse Justify the Abuse

https://omtimes.com/2019/05/victims-of-abuse/

It’s not the victim of abuse’s fault that they’re being abused today, but it is their responsibility to change. When Victims of Abuse Justify The Abuser’s Behavior     Lately, I’ve been noticing how a lot of people who are in abusive relationships have a habit of minimizing the bad behavior of their abusers. They rationalize and justify the other person’s behavior and it allows them to tolerate the unacceptable. It’s sad that people are being abused but it’s even sadder that those who are most vulnerable seem to be protecting their abusers and creating justifications for their hurtful behavior. These victims of abuse need to see the truth of what’s happening to them, and they need to make it stop. So why aren’t they doing this? In general, people who find themselves in abusive relationships as adults have also experienced childhood abuse. The traumatic experiences of their childhood set them up for future abusive relationships. There are psychological reasons for this. When a child grows up being abused, it damages their sense of self. Children naturally personalize their experiences, so if they’re loved and cherished, they grow up feeling good about themselves. If children are abused, they grow up thinking that they’re bad. These children believe that they’re undeserving of good treatment and this belief extends into their adult life, at least on an unconscious level. When a child grows up being abused, it’s not just that they’re being hurt. Abusers make sure that the child sees the abuse as “normal,” “acceptable,” and what the child “deserves.” The abuser wants to keep on abusing, and they don’t want to deal with any upset feelings on the part of their victim, so they normalize their unacceptable behavior until the victim thinks that it’s just the way things are, and the…

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https://omtimes.com/2019/05/victims-of-abuse/

It’s not the victim of abuse’s fault that they’re being abused today, but it is their responsibility to change. When Victims of Abuse Justify The Abuser’s Behavior     Lately, I’ve been noticing how a lot of people who are in abusive relationships have a habit of minimizing the bad behavior of their abusers. They rationalize and justify the other person’s behavior and it allows them to tolerate the unacceptable. It’s sad that people are being abused but it’s even sadder that those who are most vulnerable seem to be protecting their abusers and creating justifications for their hurtful behavior. These victims of abuse need to see the truth of what’s happening to them, and they need to make it stop. So why aren’t they doing this? In general, people who find themselves in abusive relationships as adults have also experienced childhood abuse. The traumatic experiences of their childhood set them up for future abusive relationships. There are psychological reasons for this. When a child grows up being abused, it damages their sense of self. Children naturally personalize their experiences, so if they’re loved and cherished, they grow up feeling good about themselves. If children are abused, they grow up thinking that they’re bad. These children believe that they’re undeserving of good treatment and this belief extends into their adult life, at least on an unconscious level. When a child grows up being abused, it’s not just that they’re being hurt. Abusers make sure that the child sees the abuse as “normal,” “acceptable,” and what the child “deserves.” The abuser wants to keep on abusing, and they don’t want to deal with any upset feelings on the part of their victim, so they normalize their unacceptable behavior until the victim thinks that it’s just the way things are, and the…

Continue Reading

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