If You Think You Can You Can Be an Effective Communicator

One of the greatest discoveries of our time is that an individual can control what he says and what he does by the way he thinks.

Unfortunately, many people assume that they can’t control the way they express themselves.

Day by day they carry on making the same conversational blunders.

The fact is that anyone can match wits against the “Opponents” of successful communication and win.

Assuming that you have the desire to win, the principle expressed by Dr Peal applies to you “You can if you think you can.”

Communication that wins a positive response from others can provide you with a new way of life.

Nothing is more essential to success in any area of your life than the ability to communicate well.

Nothing can compare to the joy of communicating love, of being heard and understood completely, of discovering some profound insight from another’s mind, or of transmitting your own thoughts to a rapt audience.

Self-concepts are enhanced, attitudes broadened, beliefs deepened, perspectives clarified, hopes restored, frustrations dissolved and hurt feelings healed.

This is what we call the miracle of dialogue.

Therapists have seen such miracles occur in the midst of their counseling.

When you play the communication game to win, a big part of the payoff is that your partner in communication wins as well.

Our communication is not always successful.

When Pope John Paul II Visited the US in 1979, a news reporter rushed up to him and asked him what he thought of the go-go girls in New York.

Having been warned by an aide that some journalists might distort his words, the pope hesitated, then asked cautiously, “Are there go-go girls in New York?”

As the story goes, the next morning a front page news article read “The first question the pope asked upon his arrival here was “Are there go-go girls in New York?”

Whether the story was apocryphal or not, it demonstrate that no one is free from being misunderstood.

Our words sometimes produce the very opposite effect of what we intended.

We hurt another’s feelings, provoke anger and create psychological distance even when what we really desire are understanding, intimacy, and companionship

Can we increase the number of times when thoughts are transferred from one to another freely and well?

Can we isolate that which promotes communication and that which breaks it down? Can we change our attitudes, our choice of words?

Effective communication on a consistent basis is possible.

In Summary, communication, good or bad is a learned behavior.

You can make a significant difference in the quality of your interpersonal communication.

When you act on new insights, you achieve understanding.

Listen with understanding, assert yourself as you speak with confidence.Learn to say no or yes when you want to and allowing the other person the same privilege.

Establish mutual respect when talking with children.

If you just communicate you can get by.

But if you skilfully communicate, you can work miracles. Jim Rohn

To your success in becoming an effective communicator!

Suggestions for Creating Better Conversations

What were you thinking when you first read Chapter 7 in Alice’s Adventures In Wonderland?

That chapter is titled “A Mad Tea Party.”

I remember being so disturbed.

I had never heard a conversation like that before.

I remember feeling like I wanted to stop reading. (Even now when I read it, I get all itchy feeling).

I wanted for Alice to run away.

I was worried for the Doormouse!

I didn’t like the Hatter and I was beginning to not like the Hare very much either.

When that chapter was over, I was so relieved.

This is how I feel so many conversations seem to go these days.

They can be full of conflict, misperceptions, and plain old rudeness.

In contrast, I was fascinated by the conversations in Jane Austen’s novels.

There is such a careful selection of words in order to convey the most accurate meaning.

Perhaps exceedingly cautious and overstated at times, but still better exchanges than those provided by the nasty old Hatter!

10 Suggestions for Creating Better Conversations

If you feel the same way, here are 10 simple suggestions to help improve the quality of your conversations. So the next time you engage in the fine old art of conversation, try a few of these suggestions out and watch your experience of life improve…

 Put away the phone

  • Giving someone your full attention is not only a sign of respect, but essential for having a good conversation.
  • Presence is everything! Put away all distractions and give the moment what it needs to work.

 Make eye contact

  • Keeping good eye contact reminds you that you are in the presence of another soul.
  • If you tend to ramble on, especially when you are talking, notice if you are looking away from the person as you speak.
  • Keeping good eye contact helps you know if you are losing your audience.
  • Attention goes both ways, whether you are doing the talking or not.
  • Facial cues are essential when giving and receiving information during a conversation.
  • If you are not making sense, you’ll see it in your listener’s eyes!

Share a secret

  • If you are feeling vulnerable and like you are ready to explore a new level of intimacy, go for it.
  • Share a secret.
  • Just make sure you’re not spilling someone else’s secret.
  • No betrayals.
  • You must have exclusive rights to your secret.
  • Sharing harmless secrets that can be kept confidential are one of the best ways to deepen your relationships by inspiring mutual trust.

Tell a good story

  • Is there a story you like to tell often?
  • There is probably a reason why.
  • Find the moral that lies within and you have struck gold.
  • If you are going to tell the story, tell the whole story.
  • Everyone loves a good story.
  • If it is told well, it won’t matter how many times you tell it.

 Ask questions that matter

  • Small talk is fine, and of course you want to stay informed about current events, but don’t forget that we are feeling human beings.
  • Having better conversations means discussing your feelings with people.
  • Your feelings may be obvious to you, but unless you express them, the person you are talking to might be unaware of how you feel.
  • Avoid unnecessary offense or heartache by carefully laying your feelings out on the table.
  • See how the light shines on any situation once you share your feelings.

Listen to the answers

  • The thing about a good conversation is that there is a time to speak and a time to listen.
  • Be present during both of these activities.
  • If you are only half listening because you are thinking about the next thing you are going to say, you are cheating yourself.
  • Stay with the ebb and flow, and trust that all that needs revealing will be revealed.

Avoid problem solving

  • Sometimes a person just needs to vent, or be heard, and may not necessarily be soliciting advice.
  • Unless the person directly asks for a solution to their problem, they are most likely just searching for a little empathy.
  • It is so important to hold that safe space for someone when they are in need of a little empathy.
  • They just need to know that they are supported.

Find the positive

  • If the conversation is turning to the dark side, be the Jedi Knight.
  • Rescue it by looking for the positive in a situation or just steer the conversation in a different, more positive direction.
  • Your friend may not realize it, but they need your strength and guidance because they can’t get there alone.
  • Be that life-line for them!

Feel better after than before

  • You’ll know you had a good conversation when you simply feel better after it than you did before it.
  • A good conversation is an exchange of energy.
  • When you share equally and in ways that uplift one another, you can both feel restored from it.
  • If you know it is going to be a heavy conversation, because your friend is suffering, then shield yourself energetically before engaging.
  • There is nothing wrong with preparing yourself for possibilities.
  • Keep an open mind and heart, but don’t allow yourself to take on negative energies from another person.
  • Instead think of the exercise as a transmutation of energy.
  • Transforming negative energy into neutral or positive energy can occur with a little effort on your part.

Make a date for your next conversation

  • Before the conversation ends, be sure to make a plan for the next one.
  • Mutual intentions to maintain a friendship are an indication that the bond is genuine.
  • Many people are gifted with an abundance of acquaintances, but true friendships are the soul to soul connections that make this life worth living.
  • Cherish them, celebrate them, and never take them for granted.

 

Good Body Language

Body language is something that is conveyed through gestures instead of verbal communication.

In today’s busy world people find it easy to express their feeling through gestures than speaking.

We use body languages in our day to day life while interacting with others for expressing our views.

It enables one to read another person’s emotions and feelings accurately and is also the best way to pass the confidential information.

Being a leader is essential in every part of our life.

If you want to become a good leader first you need to develop leadership qualities.

Some people will have inborn qualities of a good leader but many has the desire to become a good leader.

Today’s children are tomorrow’s leaders so leadership qualities have to be developed from childhood.

You might have seen children who take leadership in games that they play and in classroom activities.

Parents and teachers should analyze them and support them in their path.

Tips for Good Body Language

Now let’s know who are good leaders and the things to develop leadership qualities:

Good Leaders:

One who commands alone cannot become a good leader. You might have heard a saying by John C Maxwell, “A leader is one who knows the way, goes the way and shows the way.”

Leaders have to know the path that they have to go, move towards the same and guide the team to move forward.

They will share their experiences and help their followers to avoid the mistakes and problems that they faced in their journey.

Positive and inspiring leaders who empower and develop followers are termed as good leaders.

Great leaders are courageous and they never give up.

Just by observing one’s body language we can realize what he is thinking or wants to say.

Body language includes all gestures like eye movement, facial expressions and other signals for conveying message.

When we pass the information with gesture it will have more impact than the normal discussion.

It plays vital role in communicating with people and help us to evaluate their expression on our speech.

Pleasant face, eye contact, confident attitude are considered as some positive signs.

Each and every movement convey message, so we have to be very careful with our movements.

We can judge people based on their body language.

Aggressive people give aggressive gestures, stare, show over firmness whereas nervous people bite their nail, no confidence and avoid eye contact.

When the person is interested then they will be very active, listen, have eye contact and if the person is not interested then their activities will be like looking around the room, watch time, yawn and disturb others.

Thus, one must know and develop knowledge on the above said aspects for getting good impression and in many ways it helps you to succeed in your personal and professional life.

Characteristics of an Ineffective Communicator

In the last article we discussed some of the positive characteristics that lead to effective communication, but what about recognizing behaviors in ourselves that lead to just the opposite… bad communication?

Exploring both sides of the coin is beneficial when trying to become a more effective communicator.

Yes, we can focus on incorporating useful suggestions to change our communication style, but it is equally important to become aware of some damaging behaviors we may be using from an ingrained default position without even being aware.

Research shows people who demonstrate some of the following behaviors can be considered by the majority as ineffective in their communication efforts.

They communicate from a bullying standpoint through ridicule, scorn, threats and emotional outbursts.

I view this as the “Yosemite Sam” effect. These people have a low threshold for being able to tolerate anything outside their sphere of perceived control and an inability to manage their emotions.

Emotional outbursts are off-putting to say the least. They make most people feel uncomfortable and put them in an offensive position before they can even get a word in.

As the old saying goes, “if you can manage your emotions all is well, but when your emotions begin to manage you… watch out.”

They come at communication from an ingrained belief that somehow views demeaning others either as a motivational tool or a way to absolve themselves from being accountable for their own self conduct.

This behavior causes people on the receiving end to “check out.”

Most people shut down in situations like this and communication is lost before it ever begins.

They fail to listen.

This is a big one and unfortunately a common challenge for a great deal of people.

Again, I lean on an old saying “we were given two ears, two eyes, and one mouth for a reason.”

Yet, listening to others for some, can pose as a difficult task to achieve. The term “listening” conceptually is pretty broad, but listening to actually hear the other person becomes more specific.

For example, you can listen to someone speak while typing on your computer, but I guarantee the person communicating will not feel “heard.”

Listening involves more than just your ears.

To actively listen a good communicator employs body posture, eyes, facial expressions, and at times, even voice at the end to communicate understanding.

They have a habit of interrupting.

Interrupting is another huge area that fosters poor communication, yet something I see quite a few people do without even being aware they are doing it.

I have actually observed conversations where a person was interrupting repeatedly throughout the conversation, yet when following up with that same person afterwards they were unaware of their interruptions and in some cases actually surprised by my feedback.

This is a prime example of that “default position” I refer to.

As human beings, we develop certain ways of “being” in the world.

We establish behaviors, beliefs and perceptions that become so imbedded in our personality that they are habitual and occur outside our sphere of active awareness… hence activating our “default position.”

Regardless of whether we think we can multi-task effectively, we can’t when it comes to communication.

When we go to a place of composing a response or we are so overwhelmed by our urge to interject our thoughts in the middle of someone else’s dialogue, we are actually no longer listening.

Interrupting serves a double edged negative sword as it not only ceases our ability to listen, but it also disconnects us from the other person by making them feel un-heard, disrespected, devalued, demeaned and the list goes on.

They find fault with what others bring to the conversation more often than not.

Communication is really a fine art.

It is more complex than most of us realize or even stop to consider.

I believe this is the case because it is something we all do daily in one form or another, so as a commonly engaged in behavior, it is at risk to become problematic over time.

Thus enters… finding fault.

Yet another poor communication skill, finding fault regularly shows up in conversations either intentionally or unintentionally.

In order for dialogue to be productive, all present and engaged in the process need to feel respected and valued.

They also need to have trust. If the majority of the time, you are finding fault with what is being presented, you need to go back to the proverbial drawing board and reassess your desired outcomes.

Continually finding fault only serves to douse the flames of creative thought and destroy the potential for nurturing the essential ingredients of a robust dialogue like innovation, strategizing, visioning, or problem solving to name a few.

They are viewed as unapproachable by others.

Let’s face it, people like to connect.

We are social beings and establishing a sense of connection is part of our biological coding.

If you read the work of Daniel Siegel, he points to the importance of connection throughout most of his literature.

Years ago I attended a conference with Dan Siegel. One of the statements he made that I never forgot, he said “relationships are the defining feature that makes us human.”

So, if you have received feedback that you are acting in ways that convey a message to others that you are unapproachable, stop and give it some thought.

If you are perceived as unapproachable, barriers go up and you sabotage communication efforts before they even find a starting point.

It really is all up to you, make the choice to live your life by design, not default!

Take charge of your destiny and re-design a stellar Blueprint for Success!

Are You A People-Pleaser?

Risking Conflict By Speaking Your Truth

As a therapist and transformational life coach specializing in relationships and communication, and as a recovering people-pleaser and codependent myself, I know first-hand how difficult it can be to risk conflict in order to have your true thoughts, feelings, preferences, and needs heard and seen by others.

However, it ultimately serves no-one when a relationship is dependent on one person hiding their true self in order to please another.

Learn how people-pleasing may actually be harming you and your relationships and read my ten tips on how to start caring for yourself by being honest and assertive, beginning today.

What’s A People-Pleaser?

People-pleasers (also referred to at times as ‘codependents’) seek validation from others that they are acceptable and worthy of being liked or loved, and can be so ‘other’ focused that they often have no idea what they really feel, think, want, or need.

People-pleasers are typically individuals who learned early on in life that their true self expressions were not acceptable, and that their self-worth must be extracted from those around them in a never-ending quest to feel okay, accepted, liked, and loved.

Are You A People-Pleaser?

If you’re a people-pleaser, you likely avoid conflict as much as possible, and will deny your own truth in an attempt to make those you are dependent on and/or care about comfortable.

You’ll do anything you can to ‘keep the peace’, even if that means betraying and abandoning yourself by repressing your own preferences and needs.

In fact, you may be so focused on tending to the wants and needs of those around you that you have lost touch with who you really are at the most basic, fundamental level, to the point where you might be feeling depleted, angry, and exhausted much of the time without ever realizing it is because of your chronic people-pleasing ways.

Why People-Pleasing Serves No One In The End

  • Get ready for a good hard dose of reality: Subservient, ingratiating behavior serves no one, ever, no matter how much you’d like to believe it does.
  • By surrendering control to others and abandoning yourself, you are allowing yourself to live a lie – And lies serve no one in the end.
  • And remember, you also may be attempting to control others via your people-pleasing ways by making them dependent on you.
  • A healthy adult relationship requires that the two people involved create a relational environment that is reciprocal, truthful, respectful, and interdependent.
  • Hiding our true selves and pretending we are something other than what and who we actually are is ultimately dishonest and far more damaging to a relationship than voicing a truth that might result in heated discussion or out-and-out conflict.

 Tips To Help You Start Taking Care Of Yourself And Stop People-Pleasing Others:

  • Although it takes courage to practice new behaviors, people-pleasers who learn to live authentically find that the freedom they experience in being themselves makes risking conflict worth it.

Recognize:

  • That you may have learned early in life that your self-worth depends on what others think of you (children who grew up in abusive environments are especially likely to believe this).

Acknowledge:

  • That your self-worth does not belong in the hands of others – Nobody should have that much power over what you think and how you feel about yourself.

Decide:

  • That you will no longer play the People-Pleasing Game; it will take time, dedication, and commitment, but it is possible to change.

Check in:

  • With yourself during interactions with others, especially when communicating with those that you tend to people-please the most.
  • Focus on what feels true and right for you during these conversations, even if you are not yet ready to risk conflict by expressing a differing view, feeling, or need.
  • Write your thoughts and feelings down in a journal after such difficult or uncomfortable interactions.
  • Get to know yourself and become curious about what you really feel and think.

Determining your values, identifying your priorities, and defining your beliefs:

  • Are three of the most effective ways to build a strong foundation from which to speak your truth when communicating with others.
  • Take time to be with yourself and even write down your priorities in life and what is most important to you.
  • This will help you to develop your ability to agree or disagree and say “no” or “yes” (and mean it), no matter what the situation is.

“My decision is final”.

  • Once you determine your values and better understand what is best and most right for you, plan on saying “My decision is final” if you anticipate that rejecting or denying a request will not be well received.
  • Role-play with your significant other or a trusted friend, if needed, so you can get used to saying this one simple phrase.
  • These four words will go a long way to ensure that any doors that might allow you to be manipulated by others, especially people who were able to take advantage of you in the past, are firmly closed and will save you much grief down the road.

Use empathic reflection when asserting yourself with others, including recognized ‘authority figures’.

  • Here’s an example from my own life: I recently saw a doctor for a minor physical complaint. His recommended intervention was unacceptable to me for various reasons. My response was to say, “I understand why you might be recommending that, and if I were in your shoes I imagine I would too.
  • But that route is not one I wish to go down. My decision is final.” After saying this and dialoguing a bit more, we went on to find a remedy that we both felt comfortable with, and the treatment was ultimately successful.

Choose your battles:

  • If you sense or suspect that your honest expressions are going to result in a conflict that you just don’t feel ready or equipped to deal with, it’s okay to acknowledge the truth to yourself and choose not to express it.
  • Some things matter more than others.
  • Talk to a trusted friend, journal your thoughts and feelings, or consider seeing a licensed Psychotherapist, Counselor, or Transformational Life Coach to help you sort out what really matters most to you and what doesn’t.
  • Remember, some people will not be able to hear or compassionately receive, much less respect, your truth if they find it personally or professionally inconvenient or threatening.
  • Remember, not everyone is looking for honest, reciprocal relationships; such people may even attempt to judge, shame, or blame you for speaking your truth – Or even try to convince you that your truth is a lie.

Don’t explain yourself in an attempt to justify your position:

  • This is a real trap that people-pleasing types fall into repeatedly. You’re entitled to have your own thoughts, feelings, experiences, needs, and preferences, just like everybody else.
  • The fact that some people in your life don’t agree with you or respect your truth doesn’t make them right.
  • Trust yourself and your perceptions.
  • Sometimes our “gut feelings’ can tell us far more about a person or a situation than anything that is being overtly presented to us.

Remember the power of choice:

  • Adults who learned to people-please in childhood are often genuinely unaware that they have the ability to choose how they will conduct themselves in a relationship.

It’s Never Too Late To Cultivate Authentic Relationships And Start Caring For Yourself

  • Living in a truthful, emotionally honest manner requires courage, patience, practice, and commitment.Tired Of Being A Doormat? Use These Ten Tips To Help You Stop Being A People-PleaserThere are many books written on people-pleasing and codependency designed to help break the people-pleasing habit;

Melody Beattie’s Codependent No More: How To Stop Controlling Others And Start Caring For Yourself is the one I most often recommend to clients, along with.

Susan Newman’s The Book of No: 250 Ways To Say It – And Mean It And Stop People-Pleasing Forever.

A free support group that focuses on developing healthy relationships and communication can be very helpful as well.

Once you feel ready, consider choosing one person in your life that you can practice being completely honest with; ideally, someone you trust and feel safe with but are not always completely authentic with.

Then say exactly what’s on your mind and see what happens.

Think of your values, take deep breaths, and stand your ground.

If you’re having trouble identifying your values, a Transformational Life Coach or Psychotherapist can help you determine who and what most matters to you and support you in ending your people-pleasing ways.

A word of caution:

If you believe that you are genuinely not safe in a relationship and that speaking your truth could result in a threat to your personal safety, I urge you to contact The National Domestic Violence Hotline to receive support, information, and guidance.

Learning To Be Comfortable with Conflict?

 

You are not alone in wanting to avoid conflict. Most of us tend to avoid it. However, the potential for growth and self-discovery lies in conflict. That conflict is a chance to get to know the previously undiscovered sides of yourself. It may help your fear and discomfort about conflict change to excitement about personal growth.

When we work on conflict in groups, a useful attitude is that a group needs conflict in order to understand itself. Conflict may be the field’s way of getting to know and appreciate its parts and of realizing its full self.

–From The Leader as Martial Artist, by Arnold Mindell

As Spotify’s Global VP of Design Rochelle King says in her online talk — “Your Biggest Rival is Your Best Asset” — one of the most effective tools to push forward the creative process is conflict.

Rochelle understood that in order to do her best job as a manager/mover of people and cutting edge technology, she had to learn to be comfortable with conflict.

To appreciate the opportunity to see more than your slice of reality. Your biggest rival has good ideas.

Why not bat things about and see if you can come up with a product or solution that neither of you would have found on your own?

With learning rather than winning as a goal, you will create great products, mend broken relationships, and find solutions more quickly.

Your Rival Is an Asset: Engage Your

You have to catch yourself before you do these things:

  • wanting to advocate
  • convinced you have the best solution
  • talking more than listening
  • persuading, cajoling, manipulating
  • debating only to win
  • demeaning others ideas

If you can catch yourself, you’ll stop for the time it takes to breathe and create a chi moment.

So in that moment you can:

  • listen
  • ask open ended questions
  • learn about what you don’t know
  • ask more questions
  • seek first to understand
  • acknowledge what you hear
  • make their argument for them
  • look for solutions

These are actions that take awareness and practice.

And in time, you will change, you’ll be a different person.

You won’t even notice it happening.

You’ll just begin to have a more calm, centered, creative, and peaceful life.

And things, oddly, will go your way without even trying.

Our greatest learnings often come when we are unaware that we are leaning something. We can study a technique or focus upon a project for days, and the truth or the essence of it just does not seem to click. Then something happens. The fog clears and we notice that we have moved to a new level of truth without ever knowing how we got there. It was not our straining or trying that brought us to this new level. It was our willingness to be aware of what had already taken place that opened new doors.

–From Meditations for Women Who Do Too Much, by Anne Wilson Schaef

WARNING! Social Security to Tap into Trust Fund for First Time In 36 Years!

While the projection for Social Security’s stayed the same as last year, for the first time since 1982, Social Security must dip into the trust fund to pay for the program this year.

Social Security trustees said that reserves for the fund that pays disability benefits would be exhausted in 2032.

Social Security’s trustees said the program’s two trust funds would be depleted in 2034.

It should be stressed that the reports don’t indicate that benefits disappear in those years.

After 2034, Social Security’s trustees said tax income would be sufficient to pay only about three-quarters of retirees’ benefits.

Of Course, congress could at any time choose to pay for the benefits through the general fund.

Given our current Congresses lack of action, I don’t see that happening.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said in a statement that “lackluster economic growth in previous years,” as well as an aging population, has contributed to shortages for both Social Security and Medicare.

He said the Trump administration’s economic agenda, including tax cuts and trade deals, would generate growth and help to secure the programs.

Yea and I believe in unicorns.

AARP said in a statement that the report showed “challenges ahead for the long term,” and singled out health care for action during the election year.

How You Can Stop Blushing When You’re Under Pressure

A blush forms a pink tinge in the face as a result of embarrassment or shame. It is only typical to humans. Charles Darwin describes it as “the most peculiar and most human of all expressions”.

Why does it happen?

The reasons for blushing differs from person to person. Some people may blush when they’re being praised, it happens to some when they are caught in a wrong act, others when they’re being made the center of attention and some even blush when they’re threatened.

It is the body’s natural way of communicating your emotion.

For most people this emotion is shame or embarrassment.

For some it happens mostly when am being praised, I really can’t help that one.

Does it change how someone views you?

Not necessarily.

It doesn’t make people think of you as shy or less confident.

There are even certain instances when people who blush are considered nicer and more reliable than those who don’t.

Lets take for instance a situation where you find your seat mate spying on your booklet during a test.

What attitude of his would make you more sympathetic?

Surely a little tinge on his face which would show shame on his part for what he was caught doing.

For a very dark skinned person, it could be more obviousness which is in contrast to a light skinned person where you could actually see the pink or red tinge.

Effective Methods on How You Can Stop Blushing When You're Under Pressure

How can I stop blushing?

One way to accomplish this is by intentionally trying to blush, yup, I said it. Mike McClement, Founder Think Confidence and writer at selfgrowth says: “Vicious circles, like the blushing-embarrassment one, tend to take on a perpetual nature.

The only way to stop blushing is to create a short-circuit.

By drawing brief but intentional focus to it, you can stop blushing in its tracks.”

When you ‘intentionally’ blush, your emotional response will not be one of utter embarrassment and devastation but one of acceptance.

Recognize that blushing is a normal human response and there is no point fighting it.

Blushing is a subconscious reaction and you are not directly responsible for it.

Adapt your mind to accept the fact that blushing is completely natural and you cannot help but blush in certain situations because fearing blushing will only cause the actual blushing to become worse.

You will notice that once you have accepted that blushing is natural, you can start to retrain your body to stop blushing.

On a physiological level, blushing is nothing more than too much blood flow to your face.

By learning how to redirect the blood flow elsewhere you can physically stop blushing and reduce the berry-red look of a blush.

By harnessing the power of your imagination, and a little practice, you can, for example, focus on your hands heating up and thereby detract blood flow from your face, and stop blushing.

Along with focusing on making changes to the physiology of blushing, you can harness your imaginative mind to retrain your body about how it reacts in known ‘blush-likely’ scenarios.

Visualize yourself at upcoming events where you are cool and calm instead of crimson and flushed.

You are actually re-programming your brain, and sending your subconscious the message not to blush in the actual event.

So in summary, to help you stop blushing…

— Make conscious effort to blush.

–Create a short circuit and stop blushing in its tracks.

— Accept it is your body’s natural response. It’s your subconscious mind working. You are not responsible, and in fact blushing can be a positive thing.

— Direct the blood flow elsewhere.

— Visualize yourself staying calm and cool in common blushing scenarios.

Make Him Think You’re The One

What does it take to become a man’s one and only girl?

What should you do to make sure he only has eyes for you?

It’s completely natural to feel a little insecure about your man. After all there are many younger, beautiful and sexier women out there.

However, science and proven research hold the secrets.

There are sure fire ways to turn even the most notorious players into one woman men.

Read on to discover how to make him think of you as his one and only

3 Ways To Make Him Think You're The One

Strategy:
Know and meet his deepest needs!
Your man is special and unique – so what is good for other men won’t necessarily be good for him.

Being his woman, you have a golden opportunity to find out what his deepest most hidden needs are.

You’ll never discover these needs until you connect with his heart in a deep, profound way like no other woman can.

You will discover if he desires praise and affirmations, or if he wants to be sheltered or if he wants a woman to protect for example.

These concepts may sound ludicrous but they are examples of real male needs.

It is critical that you spend time getting to know him, talking, solving problems and doing activities that encourage him to reveal his hidden side and earn his trust.

Strategy
Be more than just his lover!
It is one thing to give him life giving sex and a different thing all together to give him loving outside of the bedroom.

Get creative and think of ways to make his life easier and more enjoyable without being a doormat. If he adores a massage, give him a massage at night – then ask him to reciprocate.

Take up new hobbies or sports together so that he will spend time and have fun with you and that is critical for a guy.

Strategy
Get along with his friends and family!
It is a big deal for a guy that you get along with his friends and family.

actually plays a major role in his decision to settle down and start a family with a woman.

So if you don’t get along with his friends and family and in the future he meets a great woman who does – it is a no brainer who he will choose!

Make it your priority to get off on the right foot with his friends and family from the outset.

Medicare is Dying! What Am I supposed To Do Now?

Medicare’s finances were downgraded in a new report from the program’s trustees.

Medicare’s hospital insurance fund will be depleted in 2026, said the trustees who oversee the benefit program in an annual report.

That is three years earlier than projected last year.

Medicare beneficiaries wouldn’t face an immediate cut after the trust fund is depleted in 2026.

The trustees said the share of benefits that can be paid from revenues will decline to 78% in 2039.

That share rises again to 85% in 2092.

The hospital fund is financed mainly through payroll taxes.

The trustees said Medicare’s changed outlook is due to adverse changes in the program’s income and costs.

Hospital insurance fund income is projected to be lower than last year’s estimates

thanks to “lower payroll taxes attributable to lowered wages in 2017 and lower levels of projected GDP,” the trustees said.

And hospital insurance fund expenditures are expected to be higher than last year’s estimates, the trustees said.

Treasury Secretary Steven Mnuchin said in a statement that “lackluster economic growth in previous years,” as well as an aging population, has contributed to shortages for both Social Security and Medicare.

He said the Trump administration’s economic agenda, including tax cuts and trade deals, would generate growth and help to secure the programs.

Yea and I believe in unicorns.

AARP said in a statement that the report showed “challenges ahead for the long term,” and singled out health care for action during the election year.